Episode 131: Dr Jeanne-Mari Retief

Jeanne Mari Retief

Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Pretty powerful podcast where powerful women are interviewed every week to share real inspiring stories. And incredible insight to help women or anyone break the barriers, be a part of innovation, shatter the glass ceiling, and dominate to the top of their sport industry, or life's mission.

Join us as we celebrate exceptional women and step into our power. And now here's your host, Angela Gennari.

Angela Gennari: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Pretty Powerful podcast. My name is Angela Gennari, and today I'm here with Dr. Jeanne Mari Retief. Hi, how are you? Thanks and you. That was a

Jeanne Mari Retief: great

Angela Gennari: pronunciation. You know, I try so hard because you have such a unique name and it's a beautiful name and I don't wanna butcher.

Thank you.

Both: Thank you so much.

Angela Gennari: Dr. Jeanne Mari Retief founded Figi Beauty to provide gentle skincare for sensitive, anxious souls with a background in [00:01:00] law and a passion for wellness. She built Figi on sensitivity, transparency, and holistic beauty and what really inspires me and what really kind of. Um, got me interested is you have such an incredible, diverse, uh, brand.

I mean, you're an international human rights lawyer, mental health advocate, and a beauty entrepreneur. I mean, that's amazing. So I just can't wait to dive into this with you. So, um, I just wanna address something really quickly. So, you know, you are going through some, you, you're, I am. I'm honored that you're here.

Because you, you are going through a few things. You just had a Hy hysterectomy, which you shared with me and your sister just passed away, so I'm so sorry for your loss. So I do want to just acknowledge those two things. Um, because you know, obviously as entrepreneurs it's really hard and like we were just saying, putting one foot in front of the other, not only do you have your own, you know, medical.

[00:02:00] Issues that you're trying to recover from, but coming, coming back from, you know, having um, you know, somebody who's really close to you pass away is, is really devastating. So I just wanna acknowledge that I am happy that you're here and, um, your mental health is obviously one of the most important things that we can be focused on and with what you do.

Um, I just feel like it would be, you know, it would be, um. It's important that we acknowledge that. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. So I wanna start by asking what, so you went from international human rights lawyer, mental health advocate and beauty entrepreneur. Which one came first and how did that all come together?

Jeanne Mari Retief: You know, many times when I'm on, um, speaking on this topic, one of the questions that I get the most is, oh, how did you make that leap? How did you make that decision to change careers and do something [00:03:00] different? Mm-hmm. And that just wasn't the story for me. My PhD is an international human rights and criminal, and.

I don't think you pursue something like a PhD if you're not 100% sure that this is what you wanna do with the rest of your life. Mm-hmm. Like you're passionate about it, this is where you wanna be. I had my own consultancy. I worked in that field for 14, 15 years, so I didn't want to change careers. I loved my career.

I loved the fact that I built that consultancy from the ground up when nobody thought it would work. I love that. Um. I was diagnosed with panic disorder in 2016. Mm-hmm. And I really mismanaged it. I had a really hard time accepting my diagnosis and the limitations that came with that. And it caught up to me in 20 20, 20 21, and I had to make, I [00:04:00] was forced to make really difficult decisions about.

How my life has to change and what I can and no longer can do. And I was very angry at that decision. So for me, it didn't feel like I was taking the sleep forward. It felt like something was dying and being taken away from me. Mm-hmm. And then, um, out of that, Figi was born, which, uh, now I can say was a blessing in disguise, but it most certainly did not feel that way to me when it happened.

Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, I know that's usually how it happens is usually you feel like something is dying in inside of you or around you and you're like, I don't, I don't want this to happen. And, and then all of a sudden, you, you, something else comes to life as a result of that time that you now have, you know that that focus and that time that you can devote to something new and then something beautiful is born from that.

And so it is interesting how that works.

Both: Yeah.

Angela Gennari: And [00:05:00] so many times we resist it. Why do you think you were resisting the diagnosis so much?

Jeanne Mari Retief: I come from a very difficult upbringing. I have a lot of severe generational trauma in my family. Um, I have history of sexual abuse and assault from people close to me, um, and.

A long history of undiagnosed mental illness in my house, which I later, when I grew up, was able to understand, oh, this is where all this bizarre behaviors came from, and all those things that hurt so deeply and that I couldn't understand. And when this happened to me, my first thought was. I fought so hard to get out of this and to make something else of my life, and now I'm exactly the same.

I'm the same. It's me too. I have the label too, and I didn't want to be that. Mm-hmm. Now I understand that panic disorder is one of many different types [00:06:00] of anxiety disorder, and it is actually one of the anxiety disorders that aren't. Is not necessarily genetic.

Both: Mm-hmm. It's

Jeanne Mari Retief: caused by complex post-traumatic stress.

Right. Um, which helped me a lot, but. It took a minute. Yeah. Yeah. To, to get to that realization.

Angela Gennari: Well, and it's wonderful that you were able to go and do that, because that's one of the hardest things to do, is to see something in yourself or to be told there is something about yourself that you have to work on.

And then really kind of commit to that. Um, like I, I know with, uh. A lot of people when you, when you, even when you go through counseling, they'll say, this is what the problem is. And there's so much denial there because it forces you to say, I have to recognize this, and if I don't recognize this, it's going to snowball into something bigger.

But, um, it's why so many people avoid things like counseling because they don't want to have to deal with that because it [00:07:00] only is gonna open up wounds, and those wounds hurt even 20, 30 years later.

Jeanne Mari Retief: 100%. And also I was in a very competitive profession, and I had already built this consultancy. I, I always knew I wanted to go into human rights.

People told me it would be impossible to kind of make a career out of it. I struggled to get into the United Nations and all these places I wanted to be, so I just decided to do it myself. Mm-hmm. And I had this thing about, oh. Yeah, what are people gonna say if they know I'm gonna be less capable than right?

I'm gonna be the one that cannot handle stress, um, that maybe gets overlooked for projects in favor of people that are more resilient and, you know, was all of that fear and shame that came with it as well, which, um, just made me kind of stuff it under a rug and. Act as if it was not

Angela Gennari: there.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Oh,

Angela Gennari: yes, I understand.

Um, [00:08:00] so when you went from, um, you know, recognizing this in yourself to advocating for others, how did that, how did that transition happen? I.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Uh, it was never my goal to advocate for others. When I started Figy Beauty, it was more a sense of survival for me. I knew that if I was gonna have to say goodbye to this career, I needed something challenging that would help me find, still, find purpose again.

Mm-hmm. Um, but in a way that I could. Take ownership of my diagnosis and find kind of a path that fulfills me in a way that works with my limitations. And one of my external symptoms is really sensitive skin. So that's how the skincare came about. And then, um, it kind of naturally led into this thing.

Okay, well it's not just the skin. It comes from somewhere inside you. There are triggers, there are things that you need to learn about your wiring, about your [00:09:00] manual. Um. And then I started realizing, the more I spoke about it, like on podcasts and interviews, the more I started finding kindredness with other people that I've been through it, but have, you know, that are still struggling so badly because I've, I've already gone through all the stumbling box and did all the things wrong that I was supposed to do.

A different way. And so I was sitting with this wealth of information and a lack of an external support system so that you're not always leaning on your husband and your loved ones because they get fatigued.

Intro: Mm-hmm.

Jeanne Mari Retief: And then I thought, well. Yeah, this may be worth talking about. This may be worth exploring with others that are wired like I'm wired.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Angela Gennari: And you're right, I mean, there's, there's so much, um, you know what, what's going on inside of you can trigger things on the outside of you. And so anything from stress. To [00:10:00] illness, you know, this is when people will have, you know, eczema flareups, or they might have other medical conditions that happen as a result of stress or as a, as a result of other things that are going on internally or, uh, mentally.

And so that, that, there's definitely a correlation there. So it's amazing that you've recognized that and then started, uh, you know, tackling both issues at the same time.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Thank you. Yeah, I'm, it's a journey.

Angela Gennari: It's a journey.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Yeah. Um,

Angela Gennari: so you went from, um. Law school and, and learning and, you know, get, getting this incredible, um, degree and leading this incredible career to now taking on a whole new industry.

So what was the transition from, you know, knowing one thing, you know, studying law to now advanced cosmetic chemistry. So what, what was the transition like, and did you find challenges in how that. Um, you know, the [00:11:00] making new contacts, developing a new business in an entirely new industry.

Jeanne Mari Retief: It was, and it continues to be excessively challenging.

Mm-hmm. I went from. A service-based industry to a product-based industry. Not only did I go to a product-based industry, I entered it during a time when the whole landscape of marketing changed. So everything is social media, it's online. And I came from a career where we were strongly discouraged to be on social media.

Hmm. So I never delved into social media. I didn't have an in. Instagram account. I didn't even know what TikTok was because mm-hmm. It, it didn't, you know, feature in my life. I wasn't to supposed to be on it in any way, so I never really. You know, taught myself how to use it or what to do with it. So there were many, many challenges.

And then of course, I decided that I want to be [00:12:00] able to be the one to formulate the products. I wanna know exactly what goes in there. I had a specific ingredient from South Africa I needed to work with. I wanted to know at least enough that I could question when I felt something felt wrong. And that presented its own challenge because I never had chemistry at school.

I was really, really bad at it. Yeah. I just couldn't grasp it. So I had the whole imposter syndrome. How am I gonna do this? Am I gonna pass it? I'm not, you know, I'm not smart enough to do this. I'm not smart enough to study this. Um, and then you prove yourself wrong sometimes. Um, so yeah, there have been many challenges and it feels honestly to me, like every day there's a new challenge that you need to overcome.

Mm-hmm. Um, you know, skincare is such a competitive industry also. There's so many different narratives. It's so confusing. Um, but it does keep you [00:13:00] engaged and. Thriving.

Both: Yeah,

Angela Gennari: absolutely. And so I kind of wanna touch on a little bit about, um, you know, you, you also have small children and so is that, how old are your kids?

1. I have one, she's seven. Oh, okay. One 7-year-old. So you're also doing this at a time when you have a family and you have, you know, panic disorder and you have all of these, how are you navigating, how are you navigating all of these changes? And then balancing being a mother, balancing the pandemic, balancing, you know, a transition in your career.

It's a lot to take on.

Jeanne Mari Retief: By making many mistakes

Angela Gennari: Uhhuh. Yeah. Hopefully in

Jeanne Mari Retief: giving your gr yourself grace through those mistakes. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes you can be pretty hard on yourself. Yeah. But you, you kind of find your way. Um. When we decided to, to, to try for [00:14:00] kids, we made the decision that we didn't want to sacrifice our careers.

We wanted to obviously do the best we can for this little life, bring her into the world, love her unconditionally. But it was very important to us that she fits into our lives. Mm-hmm. And our lives don't completely change. Around. Mm-hmm. Her. Mm-hmm. Um, which worked very well for us because, uh, she, we were very dedicated to a good sleeping routine, which is key to my panic disorder.

Like insomnia is one of my symptoms. Sleeping badly is a huge trigger for me. So we spent a lot of time mapping this out. Okay. So how are we gonna. Physically make this work. How are we going to travel the way we travel? How are we gonna manage my panic disorder with a screaming baby that needs to be fed four times a night that needs love and attention?

And we just figured it out basically like a business plan. And it worked for us. [00:15:00] She traveled with me, uh, every time I used to go for more than two nights. She would come with. Um, she grew up understanding what my world looks like and how it operates, and she's very involved in Figi as well. We're opening a store in April and she's coming with, and she's doing some of the interviews and that's amazing.

She can tell you all about the product, so I just, I make her part of my life and part of what goes on, and I try to be as honest with her about the good and the gritty. As, as I can, but. I do make a lot of mistakes.

Angela Gennari: Well, I think we all do, and you know, it's just we have to give ourselves grace because we're really bad at giving grace to ourselves.

We'll give grace to other people, but we don't give it to ourselves. And so as moms, we just have to let you know we have our own way of parenting. And as long as that. Parenting style isn't like harmful to the children. You know, we have to give ourselves grace that we're doing the very best we can. [00:16:00] And what you're doing, I think is amazing.

Like I, I was the same way. I, I had a small child and was, you know, um, I. In my first business, I was married and he, you know, he was raised in an entrepreneurial household and then when I got divorced, he was only six years old and so he got to come a lot of times with me to work. Mm-hmm. Because like, yeah, you know, there were times where I needed to go hand paychecks to, um, our employees at their different job sites, and he would come with me and he would be in charge of handing out the paychecks.

And, you know, I just made him part of the process and he absolutely, you know. Thrived in that environment. I constantly felt like, am I involving him too much? Like am I taking away his childhood? Yeah. And so many times I, you know, was so, felt, so guilty all the time and um, I. Then I would say he's 18 now.

He's a senior in high school. And about a year ago I was [00:17:00] really just having that mom guilt of like, did I do everything I could as a, as a mom to raise a good child? And so I asked him, I'm like, you know, I, I feel like you've spent your life. Working with me and I'm like, did I, did I do enough to give you the childhood that you need and deserve?

And he's like, mom. He's like, I've had the best childhood. He's like, honestly, I don't know how you do everything that you do. And still, you know, run a company and are a great mom. So, you know, it, they, they get it, they get it. They see your dedication. They see your dedication, they recognize it, but you're also developing an incredible work ethic.

You're developing resilience in them. And so what you're doing, I think is just, it's, it's right on. Involve her and let her know that, you know, being a strong. Woman and, you know, doing all of these things is good and, and you're, you're out there just, you know, crushing it [00:18:00] and, you know, not everything is perfect and they shouldn't be because you don't want your, your kids to think that you're perfect, and that then they have this aspiration that they have to be perfect and that's not fair to them.

So vulnerability is good. It's okay for your kids to see you in a vulnerable place because it teaches them that they're allowed to be vulnerable also and that it's going to be okay in the end.

Both: Yeah.

Angela Gennari: So I agree. Yeah. Yeah. So it's all good. You're, you're doing great. So, um. So let's go into, um, so you, you've made a lot of changes obviously, but you've also been dealing with a lot of your, you know, there's a lot of mental health challenges that we're dealing with and starting a business and moving and, but you also came from a childhood that was traumatic.

You know, you had some traumatic experiences as a child. How do you think that that played into you becoming who you are today?

Jeanne Mari Retief: I think that's [00:19:00] probably the only reason I am who I am today really. 'cause, um, ever since I can remember my driving force has been one day I am gonna grow up and I'm, I'm, I'm gonna get out of here.

Yes. And I used to play this out in, you know, these little. Shows I used to put on for myself in the garden. And you know, you dream about yourself being the princess in this night and shining arm and coming to rescue you or, and then you grow up and you're starting to play out what you wanna be and when you grow up.

And so that was my driving force from as long as I can remember. And when I eventually did it, I think. I didn't give myself, but I also don't think I had the emotional intelligence at that time to do it. I didn't give myself the space and the leeway to just take a second, sit in it, rest and say, okay, I'm safe.

Yeah, I made it. I got [00:20:00] out. You know, I just went into these years and years and years and years of survival instinct, just going, going, going, going, going, helping somebody else, dealing with it in like a roundabout third party way. Uh, which then obviously led to my, to my breaking, but I think it shaped everything about who I am, my perseverance, my resilience, my humor at, at times when it's really difficult to, you know, have that sense of humor, but also my anxiety and my, uh, sensitivity and, uh, how nervous I get sometimes and my.

Doubt in myself, that also all stems from that. So I think it's, it really is the ground that you're planted in and, you know, the, the seeds that feed your roots.

Angela Gennari: Yes, absolutely. Well, I can [00:21:00] appreciate that we all go through so much and you know, I feel like that resilience is something that, um. It comes from bad, but if you use it the right way, it creates grit.

It creates this good, um, I guess motivation to wanna do better and, and create a better life for you, and then also your children and your family. So, yeah. Um, yeah, that was reading something this morning and they were saying the one thing that separates p um, entrepreneurs or, or anybody really, um, you know, the, the.

People who are driving the world forward in a positive way. The one thing that separates them is grit. It's grit. That is, is that that one driving force. And it's so true. It's that I'm going to get through this and it's going to be okay and it might be painful and I, and I, you know, I, I know I'm gonna struggle at times, but just, you know, like I said before, give yourself grace and, you know, work through it.

Yeah. So [00:22:00] what advice would you give to your 18-year-old self? Oh, nothing. Nothing. Absolutely.

Jeanne Mari Retief: I know why. It's just I wouldn't have been in a position to take it in to understand it and to take to make the most of it. And I also don't think I would've been in the position where I would look back one day and remember this advice that somebody gave me.

I needed to learn it. On my own pace and struggle through it as hard as it was, but there were also very many good times. So I would kind of just leave it as it is. Yeah. You know, and just. Just be okay with how it sorted itself through.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Um, so I wanna kind of touch on the skincare products.

'cause you mentioned that you use an ingredient from South Africa. So tell me a little bit about the chemistry of the skincare products that you use and why you use it and, and how I guess [00:23:00] it benefits our skin.

Jeanne Mari Retief: So the Y is really connected to the anxiety disorder.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Um, so when you have, uh, an anxiety disorder, you're always in that kind of fight or flight instinct, right?

Yeah. When that happens, your brain kind of knocks out this alarm glass. Dumps the cortisol and adrenaline in your bloodstream, and this shoots to your nerve endings because it's getting you ready to move, to protect, to hide, or whatever it is. And a lot of our most sensitive nerve endings is just below the first layer of skin, and that's why you get that scratching sensation, itching sensation, the redness.

Um. Eczema often gets worse. Rosacea flares up. Uh, psoriasis flares up when you're under a lot of stress, and it's because of this. Inflammation and irritation being caused by these little nerve endings. So one of the external symptoms of my panic disorder was very dry and [00:24:00] sensitive skin, and I wanted to make something to speak to that external symptom.

Calm me. Soothe me and I know, uh, Roose very well. I don't know if you've had the tea. Yes, I have RO tea. Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. So it's made with Roose tea because it has so many decades of scientific evidence behind it's soothing properties. It's anti-inflammatory properties. It's a very unique antioxidant.

Um. That's why we use it in South Africa in so many baby nappy rash creams because it's so good at healing that that inflammation and that irritation and the entire line is based on calming, soothing, and bringing your skin back to a good space. It's not about fast and fierce results. It's not about the latest it ingredient and.

These harsh anti-aging. It's about getting your skin back to a really good [00:25:00] base, a place where you feel happy, you feel comfortable, you feel soothed while still gently looking after the everyday concerns that you may have.

Angela Gennari: Okay, so how did you start coming up with the chem? How did you start coming up with how it's made?

Like how, I know you knew that you were gonna use that one ingredient, but then how do you then create a product? So

Jeanne Mari Retief: it took me three years to get the products right, because o of the testing and sending back, and then redoing it and all of that. A lot of research. I decided that I was going to, I just didn't subscribe to the whole clean beauty thing because I just understood that it was more, uh, important to have conscious ingredients and I wanted to have.

Or avoid the ingredients that have been scientifically proven to irritate sensitive skin. Mm-hmm. So I launched into this [00:26:00] two year research period where I researched every ingredient I wanted to use. How you should formulate with it, what should the percentage of it. B for sensitive skin. Um, if you wanna use golden standard things like vitamin C is the golden standard in antioxidants, but you can't because it upsets sensitive skin.

What else can I use? And obviously robots is a great alternative.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Um, but yeah, it took three years to, to put these formulations together and to hand pick every single ingredient and to make sure that it can be the best it can be for sensitive skin.

Angela Gennari: So once you have your, your great products, then you have to create packaging.

Yes. So talk to me about the packaging process and you know, what that looks like and kind of what are some of the pitfalls to avoid if somebody is creating packaging for their product?

Jeanne Mari Retief: Packaging, I think, but this is with everything. I always feel like consumers, [00:27:00] um. And us as a consumer, when you're choosing your packaging, shouldn't have too many options because it just becomes so confusing.

Mm-hmm. And that is definitely the pitfall with packaging. There's so much to choose from. And then you have your minimum order quantities that you need to think of, and you'll look at a little. Um, lead for example, and think this is the perfect fit to the bottle and oh, it's only so, so much, um, you know, or such a percentage of the product.

And then you multiply it with whatever your MOQ is and it really jacks up your price. So that was a challenge. And then also, of course, the challenge of accepting that you cannot be everything to everyone. Yeah. Um. We obviously wanna do our best for our environment. You obviously wanna do what you can to have a green footprint, but the reality of the situation is that if you're an indie brand and you are buying things at a very low [00:28:00] quantity versus these mega brands, you have to be conscious of your costing and how that affects.

The price of the final product and what you can realistically do, um, with your packaging in this phase and stage versus what you may hopefully be able to do five years from now when you're open to more options and decisions. Those were the two biggest challenges for me.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, I imagine that's gotta be tough because you've gotta balance having a product that looks beautiful with mm-hmm.

You know, getting it in people's hands. And if it's too expensive, you may not get the, the quantity out that you want. So, interesting. So how do you distribute, how do you, how do you get it into people's hands?

Jeanne Mari Retief: So we are online Uhhuh, we've just launched with, um, amp Beauty, so we are in all their stores.

Nice. Um, we should be in Target by the end of March. Wow. And [00:29:00] we're in a couple of boutique stores and we are opening our first store in Scotland in April.

Angela Gennari: Wow. Congratulations. That's very exciting. Very exciting. Thank you. And this brand launched Twin.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Um, it launched in 2023.

Angela Gennari: Wow. That's a lot of growth.

Well, good for you. That's amazing. Thank you. It must be very exciting to be seeing something just kind of. Help so many other people, you know, it's coming. It, it's not only your baby. As an entrepreneur, we always wanna see, you know, our companies thrive, but your company is, is doing well and also doing good by helping other people.

So,

Jeanne Mari Retief: yeah, I hope so. That is really my goal, honestly and truly. So I, I really hope so. That's

Angela Gennari: fantastic. Um. So as women, um, we give our power away a lot. You know, whether it's giving somebody else credit or, or, you know, taking criticism when that criticism isn't warranted. And so can you tell me about a [00:30:00] time that you gave your power away and then another time that you stepped into your power?

Jeanne Mari Retief: Oh my gosh.

Angela Gennari: Do you

Jeanne Mari Retief: have time for my life story?

Oh, I still give my power away every day. It's, I'm, I'm honestly, I'm so bad at it. I think it comes as part of my wiring. It's something I really. Constantly have to concentrate on, I really, I constantly have to remind myself about the fact, like, no, you have a right to say no. You have a right to say you don't understand and to ask again.

Uh, you know, you are paying for this. You have a right to say it should end, you know? Right. And I still do it every single day. I still do it. Um, I mean, I honestly cannot tell you. Uh, one single instance. It's, it's something that I work hard at every day. Yeah. One thing I can say that I did to step into my power is the day I stopped devouring [00:31:00] self-help, like it was going to save my life.

Both: Yeah.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Because I am just because I'm how I'm wired. I'm also a big perfectionist. So when I was diagnosed, I thought, oh, I can read every single book on this. Mm-hmm. And I can solve it and I can meditate the right way. And all these people are telling me they had what I have, and now they did this and they're cured.

They never had a panic attack again. And this, you know, and you believe it because you so desperately want to believe it because you wanna be normal again, and you don't wanna have this. Diagnosis and it set me back so much because every time I had a panic attack, which I will have again, that's why I've been diagnosed with this.

Right. Um, I would. Have the panic hangover, which is normal, but it would have, it would be so much more intense because I'd have such guilt about the fact that I did it wrong. Mm-hmm. I didn't follow the steps, I didn't meditate enough. I didn't catch the triggers soon enough, and when [00:32:00] I realized that I can just see it as a bad day.

I went from having bad days every day to two a week, to one a month, to one every three months. This was a bad day, and that's okay. Tomorrow I can get up and try again. It was just a bad day.

Angela Gennari: Good for you. That is, that's really powerful because I think that's one of the things that we have, especially with social media now, is this need to, to everybody has a cure for everything, you know?

Yeah. Whether it's, you know, something like acne or it's a, a. Disorder. You know, like they, they want to cure everything and they make it sound like everything can just be done immediately. And they've created this false expectation that if you just do their plan, but yet there's a hundred of those plans and a thousand and you know, it just can go on and on and on, that you'll be fine.

And really, truly what we have to figure out is what works for us and know that we're all different and that, um. It's okay if somebody else's, you know, million dollar idea that [00:33:00] they made a million dollars in two weeks doing this one thing that's not gonna work for me. And, and that's okay. So

Jeanne Mari Retief: that is exactly right.

Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you were, you were, you know, when you were saying earlier that previously you didn't have social media, I was a little envious. I'm like, gosh, it does sound like a nice, because you know, when you get into, I. You know, this world of doing podcasts or, or running a business or having, you know, having a service or a, you know, something where you are out there and you need the public to kind of take notice.

That is a challenge. Like, I'm, I'm still really bad at posting on social media. Mm-hmm. I'm still really bad at engaging, um, because to me it, it's exhausting. Mm-hmm. You know, mentally you, it's just exhausting. And it's exhausting to see all of the, the. Pick me kind of stuff that you see on, on social media and you're constantly feeling like, am I doing enough?

Am I good enough? Am I, and the imposter [00:34:00] syndrome definitely is something that can creep in.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Yeah. Yeah. I, I have a hard time with it too, honestly. It's not my strong suit. It's not where I shine. Yeah. I have wonderful people that help me with it because they're so much better than I am. Mm-hmm. Um, but I am all about human connection.

One-on-one spending time. Um, and

Angela Gennari: that's

Jeanne Mari Retief: okay.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Both: So

Angela Gennari: that was gonna be my next question is what have you, you know, as a mom, as somebody who, you know, you, you are trying to build this brand. Have you delegated certain things? Have you been able to kind of let go of certain processes in your business?

Jeanne Mari Retief: I mean, I have, but it's been a struggle because when you start something from the ground up and.

When I started Figi, it was very cash intensive to start it because product cost, money, research and development costs money, shipping costs money, packaging costs money, and [00:35:00] I didn't borrow and I didn't have any investors. I still don't. I funded it all myself, and you just literally don't have the budget to be appointing all of these people to do all these things for you.

So it's not about. Not wanting to delegate is, it's like you don't have the budget to delegate. Everything does unfortunately stop with you as you grow and as things change, you are able to hire somebody here or get some help there. And that has changed for me, for sure. Mm-hmm. Um, and. I think it comes back to also how deeply I've learned to manage my limitations and to work with my disorder.

So I know that I can do everything and it's better for me to delegate, so I don't have those qualms about. Pushing things over because I know if I don't, it's gonna be so much worse for me in a week or two. So, um, as we grew and as we were more in a budgetary space to be [00:36:00] able to do that, yes, I, 100% for sure started delegating a lot more.

Angela Gennari: Good. That's good. Um, so, um, we always ask, you know, um. Kind of as, as you're going through some obstacles and challenges, what were the biggest obstacles that you had to overcome and with starting with starting Figy?

Jeanne Mari Retief: I think the biggest obstacle for me was how visible all of a sudden my story became because, because of my background, because of the story, uh, because of the abuse, you. I mean, your listeners, and you may know that a big part of the abuse story is usually the secret of it. Yeah. Hiding it, not telling, not saying.

Mm-hmm. And that was a real challenge to me because every time I used to speak about it, I used to get panic attacks because I would feel like I spoke about it and I let the secret out. And it [00:37:00] was actually so surprising to me how severely I reacted to that really. But it became cathartic to me because it became slowly, like, it's not this monster hiding in the cupboard anymore, this big thing.

I need to be ashamed of hiding somewhere in the dark. You know, it's, it happened. It's normal. There are many other people that are going through it that have gone through it. We can all be there for each other, but that was very hard for me. Very hard. Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, I imagine. And now, um, you know, you, you just had a hysterectomy, your sister passed away last week.

Yes. How are you managing grief and, uh, your own, uh, physical, um, physical wellbeing? How are you, how are you managing that now?

Jeanne Mari Retief: I must say from the hysterectomy perspective, it's been hard for me because I knew it would be a big operation. Mm-hmm. But I don't [00:38:00] think I anticipated the recovery to be as bad.

And now obviously as we all do, as women, you go back into the thing. Yeah. You know, you're reading the discussion forums and like, oh, this person is so much better than me at two weeks and this one is back at work at three weeks. And yeah, you feel so horrible. Like, why am I so sore? Why am I so stiff? And so.

That's been a minute, but I've managed to give myself the grace to kind of heal through that and take my time. It's been frustrating. In terms of grief, I honestly can't tell you. I have an inclination that I may come back to this podcast in a month or two and listen back to myself. She only passed Thursday last week, so

Both: Oh no.

Jeanne Mari Retief: I feel like I am. Like, I dunno how I feel. I would definitely rather be lying in my bed with my head under the covers, but I knew that I need to put one foot in front of the other [00:39:00] one day at a time. Mm-hmm. And then. See where that leads me. But it's also okay to not be okay and to not exactly know how I feel at this point.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, absolutely. And I'm still, I'm sure you're still dealing with the shock of it all and just the, you know. Yeah. I mean there's, there's a lot of emotions I'm sure that are gonna come out eventually when that, when, when it processes because everybody processes in their own time and, uh, you know, I am, we had, uh.

With, with grief. I've had a couple people who have passed away in my life and. Immediately, I was like, wow, okay. And then a couple days would go by, or a week would go by and then it would hit me. But it's like, it's almost like there's, there's a disconnect that happened, you know, with me and this and the, and when they passed away.

Yeah, that's exactly how

Jeanne Mari Retief: I've been feeling so disconnected. I was actually. Used exactly that word with my husband this morning. It's, it's so weird. I feel so [00:40:00] disconnected

Angela Gennari: from everything. Yeah. Well, and when, uh, you know, we had an employee that passed away and, um, we discovered it in the office and, you know, I'm in my office and I hear this news and I'm like.

Okay. Wow. And then, and I, I don't process it. Like it doesn't, it doesn't process. And so I go on about my day and then, you know, like a few months later, um, one of my employees were doing a review and she's like, you know, I really questioned, I. If I wanted to continue working for you, because when, when we heard the news, you just kind of kept going through it and I'm like, I was also in my mind like, I've gotta, I've gotta run a business.

Yeah. I hope I'll, I'm gonna shelve this and process it later. And, and unfortunately, like we all process grief differently, I can't break down right there because for me it's like I have to, it has to hit me, you know, I have to process it. And sometimes my, in my [00:41:00] brain. It's not gonna process right now. It's gonna process at a different time.

And I'm like, don't feel like I didn't have grief in that moment. I didn't allow myself that space. And that's okay because we all have, we all have what works for us. And in that moment, just because I didn't process grief, the same way you process grief, doesn't mean that one was right and one was wrong.

Jeanne Mari Retief: That makes so much sense actually, because now we're in the whole runup towards all the planning for the funeral. So everything feels so structured.

Both: Mm-hmm. And

Jeanne Mari Retief: I think with siblings passing away. You kind of the other sub surviving sibling becomes secondary almost, right? Yeah. Because everything is about the parents and oh my God, they just lost a child and nobody's child should die before them.

And you know, it's just, there's so much going on and you have, oh, I need to look after my mom. I need to look after my dad. So you have all of these things that you're processing. So I expect that after the funeral, it may. Yeah, [00:42:00] this whole thing may look a little different.

Angela Gennari: Right? Because there's a role that you have to step into.

Yeah. Especially if the person was close to you or there's, there's a role that you have to play that you can't quit that role. You know, like, and, and sometimes like with you being the sister, having to take on a lot of these arrangements and having to make sure that your parents are okay and making sure everybody else is okay.

And with me and. It's been, it's my employee. I have to continue to make sure all the other employees are, you know, they're notified. But, you know, I have to, I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I can't shut the business down and say, okay, well we're all not gonna work for the next few weeks because, you know, we, we have to process, like I have to let people will process at, at, at their own pace.

And, you know, all you can do is, is. Make sure mentally you are healthy and that at the end of the day you're giving yourself enough space and enough grace to get through what you need to get through.

Both: Yeah. Thank you so much. That helps me.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. [00:43:00] Well, thank you so much for, I mean, this has just been a really.

Interesting, enjoyable, fascinating conversation. Um, I've loved it so much, and, uh, you are just, you are, you're just such a survivor and, um, I have just such respect for you and, and what you're doing. So I love that you're out there helping people. I love that you're out there changing lives and, um, I just wish you so much success in your future.

Thank you.

Both: Thank you so much.

Angela Gennari: Well, Jean, it's been a pleasure. I have one more question for you. Um, what do you wish more people knew?

Jeanne Mari Retief: Oh my gosh. Uh, what do I wish more people knew? I. Probably just, it sounds so cliche, but just how important kindness is.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Jeanne Mari Retief: Every big thing that's happened in my life, every major step forward in my career, every big celebration in my life, I can directly [00:44:00] link back to somebody that shown me a kindness, that gave me an opportunity or a space where nobody else would.

It's so, so, so important.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, absolutely. Amen to that. Well, thank you so much again. You've been such a, a pleasure to talk to and, um, I hope you have so much great success and, um, thank you. I love that your daughter's watching you and engaging with you throughout this whole process, so I think that's gonna be so powerful.

So, and just so you know, my 18-year-old now has his own business too, so, oh.

Jeanne Mari Retief: So it worked out really well.

Angela Gennari: It did. He's, he is had his own business for two years and he does pretty well with it. So, wonderful entrepreneur in the making. Yeah. So, well, thank you so much everyone, and we will see you on another episode of the Pretty Powerful podcast and Jean, and I just hope you've, you have the best, um, the best future.

But how can people find you and find Figi?

Jeanne Mari Retief: Um, the best way is just to go to [00:45:00] figi beauty.com mm-hmm And you'll find everything you need there. You'll find our products where we sell them. Figi Soul is on there. If you wanna have help with your anxiety, um, it'll link you to our England store as well. So everything you need, you can find on figi beauty.com.

Angela Gennari: Perfect, and you'll also be able to see all the links on pretty powerful podcast.com. So we look forward to seeing you next time. Have a great day, everybody. Bye-bye.

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